The Outer Ring
Pushing back on the desire to be "in the room where it happens"
C.S. Lewis once gave an address entitled “The Inner Ring.” In it, he speaks of the dangers of trying to be in the seat of power, the inner circle, the “room where it happens.” Lewis writes,
“I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.”
I have come to realize that my life has been animated by this desire - to belong, to be recognized, to be “in the know.” I have been on the “outside” as long as I can remember. I’ve been trying to gain an audience - a platform - to make a name for myself. Why? So people can see me as someone who matters, someone worth listening to, so I have some proof that my life hasn’t been a waste. I spent much of my time trying to be accepted, to be noticed as having something to contribute, of trying to belong.
It is a devastating thing to think yourself Elwin Ransom only to realize that you are really Mark Studdock.
Lewis writes,
“Unless you take measures to prevent it, this desire is going to be one of the chief motives of your life, from the first day on which you enter your profession until the day when you are too old to care. That will be the natural thing—the life that will come to you of its own accord. Any other kind of life, if you lead it, will be the result of conscious and continuous effort. If you do nothing about it, if you drift with the stream, you will in fact be an “inner ringer.” I don’t say you’ll be a successful one; that’s as may be. But whether by pining and moping outside Rings that you can never enter, or by passing triumphantly further and further in—one way or the other you will be that kind of man.”
I am 52 years old - far too old to be chasing the approval of man.
It’s time to abandon the quest for the inner ring. As such, I’m renaming this Substack “The Outer Ring” and I’m going to write about stuff that interests me. As it turns out, I love to learn stuff. I was doing some new-to-me data science stuff at work this week, and I found that I really enjoyed it - not so much the data analysis, but the joy of learning something difficult.
I want to develop new skills. I want to learn to read Latin. I want to learn to play the guitar. I want to learn how to live a healthy lifestyle and get in shape. I want to learn new things, not because they are useful, but because they interest me. I’ll write about what I’m learning and how I’m going about it in this space. Drop me a line and tell me what you think.
This is great! Reject the allure of the inner ring. By the way I love the name of your substack, John. As a fellow Thulcandrian, I’m on board with your mission :)
I hear you, John. For my part, I've always had an outsider, even rebel streak. But the pull of "being in that room" was always there, sometimes especially so when you think "I could get into a position to change things". I think like you're getting at, I eventually saw that what's important is, do good work, be helpful, and just ignore the "room". For me at least, that gives all the satisfaction but none of the agita.
Let the folks in the room do the worrying, about "I wonder what the heck is John doing now?" <g>